Sometimes a post in my Facebook feed stops me in my tracks. Last week, it was a picture of my nephew’s little boy with this caption from his mommy,
“First Day of Kindergarten. He’s ready. I’m not.”
Funny thing is, when I was sending my little boys off to kindergarten, I don’t think I took the time to process all the feelings. But today?
Today, I cried as I retyped the sentence my nephew’s wife wrote. (Now pardon me a moment while I grab a kleenex and pull myself together…)
Life is full of firsts, isn’t it?
It’s also full of lasts.
It’s the “lasts” that sometimes rip my heart out.
Let me illustrate.
The other day we spent our last day with our middle son here in this pretty little in-between house of ours.
We hugged him goodbye with smiles, well wishes, and prayers as he headed off on an adventure he’s dreamed of for many, many years.
Did I mention it’s a long, long way away? Like: overseas, far away?
I’m so happy for him.
And…this momma heart misses him, too. (Darn it! Now I need another kleenex!)
We also stopped our family comedian (aka our youngest boy) for a quick picture to commemorate his last first day of school. Of course, he wanted his favorite before-school breakfast (a tortilla with peanut butter and honey…) included in the photo.
Life is full of lasts and firsts, isn’t it? I feel it most keenly in the momentous milestones of my kids.
But it also shows up in more subtle ways on a regular basis.
Take the seasons, for instance. The last day of summer marks the first day of fall.
One thing needs to end before the birth of a new thing.
I used to think I was pretty good at rolling with the rhythm of lasts and firsts in life. But this past year has brought a few more lasts & firsts than an average year…
My heart is a little raw, and some days I don’t “roll with it” as well.
A recent personality test I took confirmed what I suspected about myself.
I’m a “settler”.
As in, I like to be settled.
As in, I like to set my shovel in the dirt somewhere and dig deep.
Right now, the packing boxes are filling up, and I’m preparing my heart for the last day in this house I fell in love with the day I walked in…
And setting my mind on the fact that in only 15 days…
I’ll open the door to the FIRST day in our very FIRST home (of our own)!
I’m ready to dig in deep!!;)
