Last week I told you I’d dipped my toes back into exercise by dancing in the kitchen. That alone was a big leap for me, but I’ve now done something even more astonishing:
I’ve joined an exercise class.
This is monumental, friends.
The last time I went to a formal exercise class was -ahem- 20 years ago. My friend Andrea and I drove through the dead of winter, in the dark at 6 am, to a step aerobics class at the local Community Center. We “up-downed” along to a perky teacher’s cheerful morning voice until I hurt my knee, and we were sent to the gym for weight training instead. Oh, mercy! Lifting weights was even less exciting when I knew a cozy warm bed was waiting as my other option…
That experience hurt my pride so much that I’ve never laced up my white runners for a class since.
I have, however, learned that with my health condition (fibromyalgia), some forms of exercise just don’t agree with my body. I nearly cried with joy when my doctor said I should absolutely not take up jogging. (Hallelujah!) He recommended walking and low-impact exercise like Pilates or yoga instead.
I found a delightful Pilates video that I pull out at home and do {once every 3 years?…}.
Clearly, I have motivation issues where exercise is concerned.
So, along with my new healthy eating plan, I’ve been trying to step things up on the exercise front, too. A friend mentioned she was heading to a new Pilates and yoga class one evening last week and asked if I’d like to join her.
I astonished even myself by excitedly saying, “yes!” (What was I thinking?)
My first problem came when I went to get dressed. After digging through every drawer and cupboard I own, I didn’t find a single pair of “exercise” pants. I was sure I had a pair I used to paint in (ha), but alas, they must have vanished in the big closet clean-out earlier this year.
So I had to show up to a class full of yoga-pant-clad ladies in my very out-of-place Calvin Klein navy blue shorts… (Nobody seemed to care. Whew!)
My friend and I settled into the back of the room. The teachers were awesome, encouraging, helpful, and explained things well.
But, oh my! After 20 minutes I was ready to roll up my cute little pink mat and call it a day.
Did I mention it was an hour long?
Although I’m somewhat familiar with Pilates, yoga is a completely new ball of wax to me ~ all those poses! Everyone else seemed able to snap into “the Warrior” and “the Intense Pose” at the drop of a hat. I tried to act cool and calm, as if I had a clue.
But then it was time for “the Eagle”.
It goes something like this: Pretend you’re going to sit down in a chair, but alas, the chair is invisible. Sit on it anyway.
Then stretch your arms straight out in front of you like a zombie sleepwalking.
If that isn’t hard enough, LIFT ONE LEG AND TWIST IT AROUND THE OTHER ONE LIKE A PRETZEL.
Seriously? Are you kidding me? Is that humanly possible?
As I tentatively lifted my foot and became pretzel-like (while my backside blazed like a raging inferno), the teacher demonstrated how the arms should go…
I’ve been practicing for days and still can’t figure it out. Perhaps I have too much upper arm “muscle”? (ha ha!)
In case my explanation left you confused, I found this picture online of a perfect “Eagle”:
{Source}
Go ahead, get up from your chair and give it a whirl. (Then tell me how much fun it was. ;))
I was already feeling laughter bubble up by the time we lay on our tummies to work our way into a “plank”. I seriously just wanted to rest my head down for a nap, but that didn’t seem to be one of the options.
As the teachers patiently explained how to do a proper plank and then proceeded to cross their legs underneath their bodies at breakneck speed, I did my best to keep up…
Then I looked over at my friend and muttered,
“What in the world?”
and that was all it took…
We started to laugh.
Not just a little bit, either…
The kind where you have to put your head down and give your belly a whole different workout.
We were fairly quiet about it, I believe…
But I certainly never did get the cross-your-legs-under-your-body plank exercise.
Maybe I’ll do better tonight. You guessed it. It’s exercise class night.
I’m prepared this time. I bought myself some exercise pants ~ extra baggy, of course. ;)
